Think of this senerio: Your a single mother of 3 kids, you dont really have control over your children (aged 6months, 2 & 5) they constanly mess the house. Your house is full of dirty laundry, clean laundry that needs putting away, no food for kindy the next day. Your room, you have not seen the floor of in about one year, the garden is over grown with weeds and junk.
Your friend decides she wants to go out and invites you, however you know you have no food in the house for dinner and kindy, and your time would be better spent cleaning and food shopping. However you really cant be bothered because its just going to look the same tomorrow.
Would you rather go out everyday so the children wont make more mess? Just deal with the little mess from them throwing toys and clothes everywhere, leave all the dishes and other laundry and your room because no one sees it.
Seek help with disiplining the children so this mess will not happen again, ask a friend to help clean/clean yourself/hire a cleaner?
Stay home most days (as needed) to keep the house clean, even if the children will not keep it clean, keep cleaning up after them because they do not do it themself?
There are many other choices to do here. I want to know if such a situation what would you do? Are you in this situation yourself? Are your children well enough behaved to clean up after they finished playing? Or do you pick up after them constantly? Is your house clean? Does the laundry get done regularly? I want to know what it is like for you? With or without children, I want to know your house cleaning routine and the state of your house.
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17 Comments:
That's quite the...mess.
I don't have any kids, but I know how I was raised, and there's no reason to have out of control children. Especially that young.
We all react to our environments, so the mess, the disorder, and the empty cabinets are all adding to the chaos.
I know how it felt to be out of control.. I don't have a kids but my two little nephews live with us and they are so energetic to do everything they want to do.. Sometimes it's cute but most of the time it's really pissing me off! LOL .. I just try to be patient knowing that they are little ones..They need to understand slowly about the things around them..
Sounds like listing your priorities may help. Maybe get help for a day w/the kids and just clean and grocery shop. It will make you feel better not to mention that will effect the kids too. My mom always cleaned and we followed her around on our toys or were outside playing.
i don't have kids, but i was raised to pick up after myself and i will raise my children to do so as well. there is no reason to have everything out of control.
Oh I better let ya all know IM NOT TALKING ABOUT ME. I have one baby lol and I am a clean freak so I clean everyday lol. Im just wondering what would you do in this situation.
My kids are grown and yes, they would follow me around. My daughter has two little ones, under 4. She hire's a sitter, so she can have the time to go to the store, come home and put things away and clean. Plus, it gives her a break because her husband is deployed in the Army. She is around them 24/7!
I hope she finds an answer that is good for herself and her children.
A clean house is important, but it's not the most important thing. The world won't come to an end if it stays messy sometimes. Moms and kids need time together and moms need some social time, too. It's all about establishing priorities and finding the balance that works for you and your family.
I don't have kids, so I have no idea, but that sounds kinda scary... lol I was raised to clean my own room every day, and pick up after myself whenever I made a mess somewhere, so I'm not the best person to be asking. If I had to answer, though, I'd recommend prioritizing.
I don't think that can be a generic question. Everyone is in a different situation. Every day is different. Sometime you do need to just let the mess build up a bit and get out, sometimes you need to stay in and deal with it.
My thoughts are pretty brutal and straightforward. As the parent it is your responsibility to teach your children to respect you, your home and themselves. Might take a few weeks, but come up with ways to turn these messy clean up times into fun games - maybe a time game with the winner(s) getting a treat or gold star, and see about re-training. It's easy to say it cannot be done, but this is something you must do. It's your responsibility to make sure they learn.
I had my son "late in life" (34) so maybe was a bit more ready to take on the "I'm your mother and your teacher role." But when you choose to have children there are just basics you assume - and teaching respect is definitely one of many.
I have three kids but never found myself in a situation this overwhelming.
Children understand things a lot earlier than we ever give them credit for, so it's pretty easy to teach them all the basic stuff as long as we don't full ourselves that they are still too little...
Our house is always in pretty decent shape. All three of my kids know how to cook (from scratch - no boxed/frozen foods in our pantry/freezer) and clean and do the laundry.
Does that sound like everything is perfect around here?
Trust me, it's not!
I do most of the yard work myself because noone else has no interest in growing plants - and I really enjoy that.
What I hate the most is walking into a dirty kitchen after I get up in the morning. So - we clean it every night after dinner.
Sometimes it's not easy since nobody wants to get up from the dining table - but we do it anyway.
We know who takes the trash out, who wipes all the counter tops, stove and the table, who loads the dishwasher etc. - so it only takes a few minutes and we all start a new day with breakfast in a clean kitchen...
To me, that feels great but for someone else, there might be something else that matters more.
Life is too short to worry about where a toy lies when its done being played with. They come to life and move about during the night anyways.
The worst thing for me is the lack of food for the children. A dirty and cluttered home is bad enough, but not being sure that there's enough food for your own children is unexcusable unless you don't have the money. She needs to get her act together and realize that her children are her priority, not going out!
Read your post and the comments and I have to agree with every single one of them - each person gets to the heart of the matter - control and still finding the way to be happy with your family!
So I'm going to comment about the whole RSVP thing since my inlaws are like that too. It is sooo annoying when you are trying to figure out how much food you need when you have no idea who is and isn't coming.
Isn't that an unwritten commitment you make when you choose to have children? It's your job to teach them to respect your rules?
My house was nearly always clean but not necessarily tidy when my kids were young. I was proud of my family and responsibilities - and had good role models (which helps tremendously)!
It takes a lot of work and a lot of energy to keep up a household - more than most young couples know.
I love Carol's comment about the toys coming to life at night - that's how they end up behind the toilet and at the back of a cupboard or in my shoe - haha!
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